- A mother uses holiday traditions to connect her children to their family history.
- She shares stories, photos and heirlooms to keep the memories of past generations alive.
- Family gatherings, food and music help bridge the gap between the past and the present.
The holidays have always been important to me and my family. Growing up, my grandparents and adoptive mother made sure that November and December were filled with holidays and events that would tire our family and fill us with joy. I still think fondly of these times and draw on them for inspiration as I work to create new memories with my children, ages 19, 18, 13, and 11.
Besides being fun, passing on old traditions and sharing memories has helped me as I grieve the loss of the family I grew up with. Telling fond stories helps keep memories alive.
For example, my adoptive mother, Esther, and her three biological children, whom I knew as my sisters and brother, had a fake cardboard fireplace that we lined with socks every year. I now relay this story to my kids in front of our real fireplace as we decorate our tree. It helps them get to know a little about my humble beginnings and the creativity of a woman they never had the chance to meet.
Here are other ways to help keep holiday traditions and the spirit of the past alive each year.
I decorate our house with many holiday items passed down to me by my grandmother. It’s the snow-white marshmallow people, her favorite, that I now display on my shelves. Pema ime e Krishtlindjes është e mbuluar me zbukurime nga vitet 1960 deri më sot. Kur fëmijët e mi dhe unë i hapim këto kujtime çdo vit, kujtoj momentet kur isha fëmijë dhe i ndaj ato histori me ta.
Now, I buy each of my children their own special ornaments every year to remind them of our family and this time we are having together. One day, they will have their own collection of ornaments and stories to tell.
Photos help keep memories on top
Vacations have always been about family. Por shumë nga njerëzit që i bënë festimet e mia të festave kaq magjike janë zhdukur tani. Për t’i kujtuar ato, unë ndaj fotot me fëmijët e mi. Unë kam pesë albume të mbushura me kujtime të Krishtlindjeve të kaluara, dhe ne i shikojmë ato çdo vit.
A favorite photo shows our family singing along with Mitch Miller, the famous songwriter we used to listen to every Christmas on the old CD. This annual gathering was hosted by my aunt, who was dressed in silly party hats and sweaters. Another image shows one of the last Christmases we would celebrate with Gram and Gramps. There are also pictures of me visiting Santa at the mall.
I share these images to connect my children with people who knew them briefly or not at all. These people are part of who I am and woven into the fabric of who my children will become.
Getting together for food is a favorite pastime
My Italian family treasured food and the time we spent creating meals — especially during the holidays. I fondly remember my aunts and grandmother gathering in the kitchen and sharing stories while preparing our favorite dishes.
For the big holidays, we now set the dining table, which I inherited from my grandparents, with Noritake porcelain that was passed down to me by my grandmother. The delicate flowers that dance around the edge of the plates remind me of holiday dinners with her. Even more of her beloved trinkets decorate the dining room, helping to make it feel like she’s right there with us as we eat our Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.
In the kitchen on Christmas Eve, we have a tradition of baking Italian cookies like my great-grandmother used to make. Ata kurrë nuk shijojnë tamam si Gram. But what they lack in authenticity, they make up for in the memories they bring.
The author and her children decorate their Christmas tree every year with ornaments from past generations. Nicole Johnson
Prej vitesh kemi organizuar festën tonë të Krishtlindjes, një homazh për festat e rinisë sime. Tani, ato janë bërë një traditë që kam krijuar me dhe për familjen time. Ne ftojmë miqtë dhe familjen – ndonjëherë deri në 100 persona. Ne gatuajmë shumë ushqime dhe madje kemi mirëpritur vizitorë të veçantë si Babadimri ndër vite. I play music by Elvis, Frank Sinatra, Burl Ives, Bing Crosby and Johnny Mathis, making sure my kids know that these classic songs were my grandma’s favorites.
Sharing these traditions allows me to give my children a glimpse of my past. I have moved from one family to another, but I still remember where I came from and I make sure my children will do the same one day. I’ve fostered relationships that would otherwise have faded, making the holidays a time we look forward to each year and reminding my children that the true meaning of these special days is family.